Asking For A Prenuptial Agreement
Prenups are more popular than ever, according to a recent survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), which has 1,600 members. Sixty-three percent of divorce lawyers in the survey mentioned an increase in marriage contracts over the past three years, and the main reason cited by 80 percent of those surveyed for prenups is «protection of separate property.» In case of disagreement, consider the compromise as an opportunity for improvement. «Be creative in coming up with solutions that might be better for both of you,» says Jacobson. Remember that you`re not trying to win a battle – you`re trying to build a partnership. The first thing I do with couples who are fighting over a marriage contract is to try to turn them away from the opinion that one of them is romantic and the other calculates. I want them to feel like they are just two people with different emotional needs, valid in the same way. «I`ve heard all kinds of approaches. What normally seems to work best is the truth,» Kessler said. Say something along the reso: «My family and I have always discussed and agreed that if I or my brother ever got married, we would sign a prenup` or `My best friend went through a horrible divorce and all he remembers is that his lawyer said, `If they had only signed a marriage contract.`» However, the prevalence of prenups does not make it easy to ask your partner to sign one. To make the conversation less thorny, we asked divorce lawyers to share their tips for the best ways to apply for a fair and equitable prenup. «The trick is to make it a jointly established agreement, which addresses both of your concerns, and not just with the partner who has a lot more income or wealth than the other,» Cohen said. «It can be helpful to have a neutral mediator who helps you find an agreement that meets both your needs and desires.» Each of you should always ask independent lawyers to check the final draft. «This will increase the chances that [the deal] will stand if it is challenged,» Jacobson says. Ellen reflected Mark`s pain that his divorce deal left his children with half as much money as he had planned.
She then pondered her statement that he did not intend to remarry, but that he was willing to marry her because he loved her and wanted to make her happy as long as there was a prior financial agreement. «Sometimes the marriage contract is even more valuable to the less fortunate spouse because he or she gives him or her some security about finances in the event of divorce,» he said. Eventually, in their marriage contract, they agreed that, no matter what, a certain amount of money with which Mark had contracted the marriage would be reserved for his children. Ellen received written assurances that he would write a will saying that in the event of death, after this initial sum of money had been distributed to his children, his remaining property would be divided in two, with part of Ellen and the remaining part being divided between her children. But before you ask a partner for a prenup, here are three things to consider.